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Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Supernatural Siren of Cyberspace
Is the Supernatural Real?
Humans are fascinated by the unexplained. From UFO's to ESP we are intrigued by what we cannot understand. Since this is a very broad topic we here at Bored People Boring Other People (BPBOP) decided to break it down into three basic categories.
1. The Unexplained Universe: This would cover space ships, Higher Dimensions, Angelic Beings etc.
2. The Great Missing Pen Mystery: We here at BPBOP have discovered that things in our office seldom stay in one place. Could this be proof of Gremlins or other supernatural beings?
3. The Way the Internet Remembers Your Search Habits: Have you ever noticed that, after you've Googled something, ads for it show up everywhere else you go? What diabolical power fuels this madness?
So What's the Answer?:
To question one, the answer just about has to be yes and no. For example: Are there aliens? Well, if there are 100,000,000 stars in our galaxy and 100,000,000 billion galaxies, then even if the odds of an alien species are only 1 in a billion there are still...um...lots of alien races. So, yes, there are probably aliens. On the other hand, think of a number. Was it 11,235.74? Damn, so much for mind reading.
We decided to test the second question. Having placed a pen in our office and then lost it, we hollared for our daughter (who is 14) to come help us find it. She was able not only to find the missing pen but several other missing pens and the missing block of post-it notes in about 30 seconds. This tells us either that there is not great pen mystery and we're just getting senile or that our daughter is in cahoots with the gremlins.
We do very much suspect however that supernatural powers do flow through the internet. Our research indicates that the source of this power may be Felicia Day, an American Actress known for her online show "The Guild."
Do Her Eyes Seem to Follow You?
We first became aware of this strange power after we wrote an article about who Felicia Day was dating a few months ago. While we only did a few searches on google and youtube as part of the research and watched no more than 14 hours of her show "Vaginal Fantasies," we have since been bombarded with a constant stream of ads and "selected for us" featuring Ms. Day. Did you know she's a part of something called "The Flog" or that her show "The Guild" has its own Munchkin Card Game cards? We do because the internet has bent it's cruel will towards us. Gone are all the fun ads we used to get for mutual funds and reconstructive knee surgery! Oh the heady days of eye care commercials and retirement planning seminars. We never loved you enough!
So, are supernatural events occurring? Check ad at the side of this post? Is it her?
Master Yoda put it best: "Once you start down Day's path, forever will she rule your destiny.
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